The Tear That Refused To Fall

It was not a problem. So there was not a solution for it to be found.

Just a few questions to be answered. I questioned. But he refused to answer.

May be there was something wrong with me, after all. For, I questioned everything.
"Where is god?"
"Why do we have to 'fall' in love?"
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

I asked a lot of questions. And people answered me. Such that I always kept asking more questions. I was never satisfied. Then I gave up people. I found out answers for myself. And I was now satisfied.

Then something felt wet. It was my eyes. A tear. My common sense said that yes, it would come down. It had to. So I waited for it to flow. Waiting for it to flow seemed like an eternity. As if the tear was suspended in a vertical horizon, trapped in the time zones of different worlds. Or may be it happens to people who never cry.
That one tear seemed strange. It didn't come out of the eyes easily.

I waited and waited.

Seemed like it had fallen in love with my eyes. It refused to leave. Or may be it sensed that I was lonely, and I would appreciate some company apart from my own shadow's, and some voices hitting my ear drums. But no. It was not in love with my eye, nor did it care for my loneliness, for, at that very moment it left my eye. The diamond no longer shone in my eye. I had lost something.

There were so many worlds in that single droplet of tear.
Amazing.
One tiny drop of water.
Infinite pains, infinite voices.
Things, people, events could be so simple. And so complicated too. Depends on how much your imagination was willing to forgive you.
My worlds.
Seen, unseen. Some conquered, some still virgin.

His presence.
His existence.
An ocean of waiting. And I was swimming there.

Would I drown? Would some one come to my rescue? Or would I give up and shout for help? Would I conquer the horizon?

Oh, the wetness I could feel in that one drop of tear! The conflict of real, and the unreal. Dreams. Ground reality. Night. Day. Sunrises. Dusks. Twilights. Yes, I love the twilights. Best of both the worlds- moon and the sun.
Faith. Betrayal.
Darkest Sky. Endless Night.
Shining ray.
Rapture.
Helplessness.

It seemed like eternity. And I waited.
I would wait.

I dont think I am in love. I was always in love with my life. Passion flowed in my veins instead of blood. Coffee, too. This was above love.

I asked people if it was possible to live life with that one spark that someone has gifted to you? Or should you go ahead and catch that spark and make it yours- forever- body and soul?
"If there are more sparks, I would marry that person."
"Not necessarily. You would want him to be around. Always."

They shrugged.

I should not have asked this question. But then I always asked questions.
Bad habit.
May be a virus had entered my system. But I dont want it leave.

But what exactly was the problem? There was none. And nor am I looking for a solution. Am just flowing with the rhythm. Music never sounded so sweet before.

I would live the spark.

Love is not a one way street. It runs both the ways.

I will dream and smile, as Eurythmics sang:
"Who couldn't be together and who could not be apart(...)"

[January 2006]

Unfallen, and Tragic

A Happening Universe it was to them
But that didn't impress you
So you stroll up by my window in the Sea
Make me a god for moments few
To make you a Hero
Unfallen, and Tragic

My Magic Wand's in place
The pieces make up a story

I take you by your hand
You Fight The War,
The Chaos on this land
And become a Star
Here comes the Hero!
Unfallen, and tragic

The rise and fall of Grace
The fiction of lies, tales of glory

Cameras in your face, smiling
Long and penurious talks
But will you be shining
In your Den with the thought that stalks?
I made you a Hero
Unfallen, and Tragic

Magic faded, but with a trace
Piece of beauty, but a folly

You hear the rain drops
You hear the speeding train
You fear the curtain drops
Your fear the lonely lane
I made you a Hero
Unfallen, and Tragic

Not a frill, or a lace
Nothing to clothe a soul's fury

And when we traverse and brush
I do not hold your hand
I am not god, I still search
So take away my wand
That made you a Hero
Unfallen, and Tragic

Catch up to save a face
Catch up to change a story

A god was quiet, but spoke a friend,
"Look at that scar,
Cry that Tear, nevermind the trend
Dont be afraid to fear, you'll still be a star
A Hero
Still Unfallen, but tragic."

Complete freedom, but still a Prisoner
Keeps exfoliating, but still a Soul

The Eclipse Diaries

### Bloodless Eyes ###

The sea keeps sinking somewhere.
I wake up- night or day- its the same thing to me. I wake up with the perfect pain in my belly, my shoulders and the rough edges of my skin. I dont let it linger for long. I play in my mind a song that I heard some ages back.... I try to set the memory in sync with my heart beat.. but I am not able to do so. Something is lost, somewhere. I am trying to understand what I have lost. Only then I can attempt a kick at retrieving it back.

They had taught me to be mentally tough and prepared with the events, conditions, everything. Did they miss out to tell me something?

My eye sight is fine. After all this time in darkness, I thought may be my eye sockets are empty- they must have taken my eyes off. But I could see a mild flickering of a bulb from afar. I almost started moving towards it... when it struck me that my cell was a closed tube. I can barely move, I can barely breathe. But I can live.

A tube like cell
Time.. well... it is flowing.
PoW # 84190310

Blue-berries

In the Sweetness of Memory
In the Re-defined Infinity
In the Bewitching Dollops of Madness
In the Silvers at Three Oh Seven AM
In the Blacks and Black-outs
In the Colors of the Rain, that bowed
Seeds promised me Trysts of Seasons


And I
Swam the Oceans of Night
The goal of an equally darker Horizon Stares
Waiting to Tease the Twists and Sleight of Hand
Of a Humorous god
The Madness becomes the Ink of the Soul
To bring you the Dusks and Dawns of an Infinite Universe